The wonder that is an engineering student.

Whoever agrees with the phrase Ignorance is bliss shouldn't read this post. I wanted to write about someone I know, just share my experiences with her, with all of you. I want to say first that the person I am writing about is someone I really care for and mean absolutely no offence. The only reason I write so openly about this person is, not many people who know her would read this, and want people to know that people like these exist still, in our shining country... what lack of proper education would do to a person, who can never fit anywhere, except her own people, no matter how desperate she is to get out. I am also, in no way, violating her privacy, as everything I write here has been gladly shared by her with anyone who shows interest. Also, a lot of my frustration might come out in the form of rude and taunting words, please do ignore that! I will not write a name here, a lot of people already know her. Let me call her...umm.. Sims! So, Sims is someone I met less than a year ago. She is 24, and is married; hence, I'll call her, Mrs. Sims.

Mrs. Sims comes from a backward (am I allowed to use that word?) family, whose members aren't well educated, and live and abide by superstitions unique to their own village. She has studied all her life in a local school, without learning a word of English, and is currently about to finish her degree in engineering. She had completed her diploma (for those who don't know, diploma is done after the 10^th standard, for 3 years, and students are directly admitted to the 2^nd year of whatever course they join. It's really not a time-saver as most people say, as it is still 3 years), after school (12^th standard), because there were no good professional institutes near near her place. And after 3 years of diploma, her father forced her to join engineering. He still thinks that he helped his daughter finish her studies early, apparently, even though it can be understood by a five year old that Mrs. Sims's 2 years have gone down the drain.

Mrs. Sims is the typical character you see in hindi serials, who gawks at anything that shines and whispers when a man talks to a woman other than his wife. She is also a person who believes that Venus can't shine because it's a planet, and that thing I point out to her in the sky is definitely a star, maybe in our own solar system. She's going to have a Bachelor of engg. degree in computer science, and doesn't know what 'Recycle Bin' is, on her desktop, thinks that if I hold the mouse with my left hand, it won't function, doesn't understand the concept of storage space in a hard disk, and has never heard of the 'Mother board' before I mentioned it to her(yeah, she's in the final year of her grad. She actually thought I was pulling her leg because of the word 'mother'). I have had the dumbest arguments of my life with her, but never won, because I always give up. One unforgettable conversation went like this,

Mrs. Sims(out of the blue): We live in a college hostel, right? So why are civil (engg.)students also here?

Me: huh???

Mrs. Sims: I mean, why waste hostel facility on students who study in a branch as useless as civil engineering?

Me: useless? It's not useless.

Mrs. Sims: of course it is. These people shouldn't be called engineering students. They work on construction sites! There is no need for them. Or that stream.

Me: what do you mean? If there were no civil engineers, who would build roads or buildings or bridges?

Mrs. Sims: those things already exist. At least, civil engineers already exist. They'll do the job!

Me: then why do we need computer engineers? There are already people who do that job too.

Mrs. Sims: but computers are used everywhere! You need people to build them. Look around and tell me how many things you see that civil engineers have built.

(I imagine she pictured herself living in the jungle, without roads on which she drives her vehicle, and just a computer, connected to God knows where, and working on it, Satan knows how, as satellites are used only to take photos of the earth and not for communication.)

That was the first time I wanted to pull my brains out. My expressions of ridiculous shock slowly turned into curiosity, and then laughter to, pity, and now, blank. There were tons of conversations like these, I'll list a couple more later.

 

Anyway, one year before her graduation was due to complete, she was forcefully married off to her, get this, first cousin. She had never met this guy before(wonder how). Her father's sisters are all of the same type. Her own elder sister was married to another of their aunt's sons, and when she got pregnant a couple of years later, her mother in law yelled at her for being in such a hurry.( 'It was your son's idea!' 'Don't you dare say anything about my son, you witch!' and the hindi equivalent of 'burn in hell'). Poor Mrs. Sims's mil is no different. And the worst part is, her father knew his sister very well, but he still threatened to kill himself if his daughter didn't marry that loser of a man, and justified his actions, saying that, it's the son she's getting married to, not the mother. And he knew nothing, absolutely nothing about the son.

The son, in short, is an <beep>. He's very obviously cheating on her, was on the phone with another woman on his wedding night, has lurid text messages and sleazy photos in his cell phone, and is a mama's boy. His mama has officially given him permission in front of his wife, to have another girlfriend. Two more words that would describe him would be incestuous
paedophile. When Mrs. Sims tried to tell the family about his actions with the 5 year old kid in question, she was verbally thrashed for doubting her husband.

Mrs. Sims can never leave her husband because, in hindi movies, all the women say that it is morally right to be with only one man, and husband is like god. Agreed, either you live in the 12^th century, or those are values of our long lost tradition, but heck, do you not know the guy? And hello, you are going to live your life according to hindi movies?? The most cheesy, most ridiculous, over emoted dramas in the history of television? The answer, is apparently, yes. There were a couple of other living principles she borrowed from Karan Johar and the like. But one filmy conversation that stands out in the minds of 3 people present then was when we were watching an English movie, and at the end of the movie, a pair of lovers are reunited, and they kiss, and it is implied that they eventually go to bed. She thankfully understood that this time, but said:

These English people na, so dirty. Why do they have to do all this when they are not married? There is no reason!

X: it is instinct, Mrs. Sims. They don't plan it, it's something that is natural. They do it, it's their wish.

Mrs. Sims: there is nothing natural about it. And there is no need! People shouldn't get feelings like that before they are married. You should do that only when you want babies. (yeah, she's twenty four!)

Me: alright, this is a movie. Not real life.

Mrs. Sims: hindi movies don't show anything like that. so it's not real.

Ok, understood you don't know what fornication is, but hindi movies don't show sex? Excuse me??

Mrs. Sims, innocent and unknowing as she is, has faced a lot of ridicule from her husband. When she shared her unrealistic dreams with her husband, such as, wanting a laser eye surgery to get rid of glasses that make her look ugly, her husband told her that he would transplant a goat's eyes into hers(and she tried for ten mins to convince me that there are people in her family who do have goats' eyes to rid themselves of glasses, even though they can't see after that! In the same thread, she also thinks that, birds are asexual, as there are no male, and female gendered words for them, and that crows and mynahs mate, and lay 2 eggs: one becomes a crow, and the other one, a mynah.). she also dreams of leaving the country and her family as soon as college gets over, but doesn't realize the importance of obtaining a passport for herself. She and her husband haven't spoken a word to each other in the past 5 months, since her mil spread a rumour in the family that her father is having an affair.

Not only does she talk like a 6 year old(*nasal, like Janice* yay! I am going to sit on your bed today, wish me all the best!! Yay! I sat on your bed, congratulate me!! Uh-ha-uh-ha-uh-ha!!), she has the mental and emotional maturity of one too.
Out of the deepest regions of my heart, I feel bad for her. I wish I could help her, but I don't know what to do. The women of her family have a violent streak that I do not wish to experience. Her own ignorance is so ingrained in her that, try as we may, we can't get to admit that she is wrong. She is a very nice person, mind you. It's just that when I have conversations like the below, I realize how helpless she is, and how, now, there is absolutely nothing we can do about it, and how there are atleast one hundred thousand other people like her in the entire country!

Me: why don't you apply foundation to your neck too? Your face looks ten shades fairer than the rest of your body and it looks plain strange!

Mrs. Sims: let it be na, who's gonna look at me? I am fat and I wear glasses.

Me: then why are you putting on makeup in the first place?

Mrs. Sims: because I have to go to college and attend lectures. And i am not fair, like you! (in her whiny voice.)

Me: so?

Mrs.Sims: so? There will be people on the roads, sandy! (horrified expression, as though I don't comprehend such an obvious fact)

Me: so they'll look at you? Then why don't you apply make up properly?

Mrs. Sims: chodo na... who's gonna look at me anyway?

And it the loop went on twice, in the exact same way, before I quit.